Periscope Depth

I’ll pretend my ship’s not sinking

Oh, dear. Someone take Eli Manning’s last known photograph:

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning said he will play Saturday against the Baltimore Ravens.

Manning will practice Monday afternoon but will wear a baseball cap instead of a helmet. The quarterback is not to be touched in the non-tackling practice. He expects to be able to put on a helmet for Wednesday’s practice.

Manning had 12 stitches removed from his forehead on Friday and sat out Saturday’s preseason loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers.

“It feels fine, the stitches are out,” Manning said while wearing a Giants baseball cap prior to practice. “I’m not wearing a helmet today for practice, will be in a hat, but it feels fine and is not hurting. It’s exposed, as long as I don’t get hit in the head, it will be all right.”

“As long as I don’t get hit in the head.” Wow.

Granted, the New York Football Giants are a better team than the Deadskins, so I’m not expecting the same 23-3 mudfest that we saw last weekend. Perhaps Elisha will only be sacked once, as opposed to McNabb’s two visits to the ground on Saturday that left him limping onto the bench after the first half. Manning only got sacked thirty times last season, which makes the Giants’ pocket protection more porous than the 3-13 Tampa Bay Buckaroos but sturdier than the Stillers (sorry, IOZ). In 2009, Ben Wafflespurgisnacht got jacked up fifty times – an average of 3.125 sacks per game. Actually, that should be 3.33 sacks per game, since Big Ben sat out the Baltimore game in Week 12; something about his head hurting.

But I digress! This isn’t about Pittsburgh. This is about the Giants, playing the Ravens in Baltimore. Perhaps things won’t be as bad for the lesser of two Mannings as they were for Donovan McNabb. After all, Terrell Suggs was going up against rookie offensive linemen last Saturday – no match for a ferocious Pro Bowler. Fortunately, the Giants are … what’s that? They’re on their second and third-string guards? Oh. Oh, dear.

Well, there’s always Jim Sorgi.