Periscope Depth

this home is more than bricks and mortar

My cell phone buzzed while I was eating lunch yesterday. I didn’t recognize the number, but I’d just called the dealer for some mandatory maintenance, so I took the call.

“This is David with Comcast,” came the reply. “Am I speaking to Mr. Perich?”

He was.

“My records show that you have Internet service with us at [my address]. I wanted to let you know you might save some money by bundling services with us.” I said nothing; after an awkward pause he continued. “Do you currently have cable?”

“No.”

A tiny hitch in his voice. “Do you own a TV?”

“Yes.”

“So; wait. I’m sorry. Do you …”

“I own a TV. I don’t have cable.”

“Ah!” Clarity dawned. “You have a satellite dish?”

“No.”

“Okay.” A brief pause while he looked for the menu option to indicate my response. I’m probably Other. “Who provides your phone service?”

“I don’t have a home phone.”

“… right.” This must have taken him to a little-used page of the script. “Well, if you were using either cable or a phone, I would have been able to save you money by getting a service package through Comcast. But you’re not, so …”

“So it seems kind of silly, doesn’t it?”

“Have a good day, sir.”

“You too, David.” Click.

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