To get a car registered in Massachusetts, you will need to do the following:
- Acquire auto insurance. This isn’t hard; you can do this online. But I should caution that it’s not quite as easy as buying a book on Amazon. Every insurance company wants to give you a quote if you enter a few vague details. This draws you in, making you a lead. Once you start the application process, giving your driving history and VIN, shit gets real. “Oh, you’re that Professor Coldheart? Yeah; double the quote we just gave you.” Seriously.
- E-mail the insurance company to get proof of insurance.
- Presuming you got collision insurance – you’re not dumb, are you? – go get a photo inspection of your car. This isn’t very hard, but it takes some time out of a busy day. You will receive a form that you need to fax to your insurer, which, given the number of people who still use fax machines every day, won’t be a problem at all.
- Go to the RMV and collect a number.
- Spend some time browsing in Best Buy and Target next door, waiting for your number to get called.
- Approach the RMV lady with your title and proof of insurance. What’s this? My insurance doesn’t take effect until tomorrow? Well, then I guess there’s nothing I can do with the rest of my day, is there? Certainly not the nine other errands that hinged on my having proof of registration of the car that I drove here.
- Stomp into the rain.
- Sigh, accept the hand that you’ve dealt yourself, and go buy groceries.
- Take a nap.
- The next day, go to the RMV first thing. Collect a number.
- Spend some time browsing in Best Buy and Target.
- Approach the RMV lady with your title and proof of insurance.
- Fill out a form to waive any sales tax that you might owe on this car that you bought out of state.
- Fill out the same details on a second form that you already filled in on a first. Whatever.
- Get your plates! And your registration!
- Affix these plates to your car.
- Get your car inspected for the Massachusetts safety and emissions test.
- What’s that? My car will fail the test if I don’t replace this one $12 light bulb, out of the eight light bulbs in the rear window? Well, go to town, buddy!
- Get a parking permit for your apartment complex.
- Get a parking permit for the town you live in.
- Go home; park your car.
Dear Mr. President,
Remember when you compared mandatory purchase of health insurance to auto insurance? That’s not helping.