A Hyundai commercial came on late in the 3rd. “Have you heard about Hyundai’s new program?” someone asked. “If you buy a Hyundai and you lose your job, they’ll take the car back.”
“Won’t the bank do that for you already?” I asked.
Somewhere between the commercial for the G.I. Joe remake and the commercial for the Escape to Witch Mountain remake, a Super Bowl happened. It was a tense Super Bowl, don’t get me wrong. Lot of good play on both sides, and I have to credit the Cardinals for making it close in the 4th. But nothing epitomizes the Steelers more than James Harrison, hero of the 2nd quarter for running back a pick for a TD, becoming the villain of the 4th by flagrantly roughing Ben Graham. Harrison shoved the Cardinals punter down, kept him on the ground by pushing down on his shoulders, then punched him as he struggled to stand. Taking nothing away from the athleticism of Santonio Holmes and Troy Polamalu, the Steelers are as disreputable a bunch of thugs as ever donned football uniforms*
The Super Bowl was not the most brutal sporting event I saw this weekend. That honor goes to UFC 94, which I watched with Brett, Will and a bunch of other Everett kids on Saturday. In between talking about the murders that kids they went to high school got away with**, we watched a series of bizarre matches and even more bizarre judging decisions:
- A crowd full of drunken guys in their 20s and 30s went from laughing at the one guy named “Dong” to cheering him on sincerely. He demonstrated more prowess and control in the first two rounds of his fight against Karo Parisyian than anyone we’d seen thus far. Then … he lost in a split decision. I hesitate to yell “racism,” but East Asians always fare poorly in MMA (oddly enough).
- Winner for most bizarre entrance music: Jon “Bones” Jones, coming out to “Angry Johnny” by Poe. A refreshing change from the late 90s rap and early 00s nu-metal that most fighters find intimidating, but … really? You’re going to pump up the crowd by playing Poe? I suppose it got inside Stephen Bonnar’s head (he entered to The Who’s “Eminence Front,” FYI), since Jones won with the first unanimous decision of the night. He had some sick mule kicks.
I liked the UFC match better – fewer villains won – but I enjoyed the company at both events. If I miss anything about moving to a smaller place, it’s not being able to host a dozen or so people for a ball game or a movie night. Still wouldn’t trade back, though.
* Unlike my own Baltimore Ravens, gentlemen all.
** Not joking. Murders, dude.