Periscope Depth

a living study in demonology

Hey sports fans.

I finally checked out Mike’s in Davis Square, which has just tucked its chin over the “dive bar” hurdle but not quite cleared it. Big meatball subs dripping with mozzarella and imported beer in plastic cups. You could call Mike’s, if I may steal the most common line in an in-flight magazine ever, a “study in contrasts.”

I ended up here because I hadn’t eaten that evening (Thursday), and because I wanted to see the tail end of the Ravens squeaking by the Patriots in the pre-season opener. Kyle Boller surprised me by not disintegrating into his coordinate goo, but instead launching bomb after bomb to Derrick Mason for mad points. And our second-string D sacked the Patriots’ QB (not Tom Brady) six times and pulled three picks out of the air as well.

In other news, Brett Favre consented to his own perpetual embarrassment by coming out of retirement to play for the Packers Vikings Buccaneers New York Jetropolitans. People speculate whether he should have stayed out this season, or whether this will be his final season. I say: screw that noise. I hope he has four more seasons. Let him piddle his relevancy away with a series of demeaning second- and third-string roles for increasingly worse teams, until one morning he finds himself fighting for the backup job in Cleveland with Brady Quinn. The 21st Century needs a new Vinnie Testaverde – a homeless parasite of a man, wandering from stadium to stadium, delivering mediocre performances until his name becomes a punchline.

(Sorry; the man just tires me)

Last bit of sports news: I watched UFC 87: Seek and Destroy in good company on Saturday night – RJ, Brett, Will S. and Mike L. All of the fights entertained us a great deal – even the 0:12 second knockout between two Ultimate Fighter also-rans.

Some highlights:

  • Cheick Kongo. Expect him to be a competitive heavyweight name in some later fights. He’s a big, tough dude who moves like a Ferrari.

  • Demian Maia. A skilled jiu-jitsu practitioner, he took down the ugly Jason MacDonald with a very proficient rear choke. Reach advantage rarely helps inside the grapple.
  • Condom Depot. One of the fighters had CONDOM DEPOT sprayed across the ass of his trunks, in an unfortunately suggestive sponsorship deal.
  • Light Flo Day. Boston’s own Kenny Florian took down Minnesota’s own Roger Huerta in a fantastic lightweight fight that went all three rounds. Florian has a pretty amazing arsenal – he kicks, punches and grapples remarkably well. He mentioned his soon-to-open martial arts school in Boston once, when Joe “Bro”gan cornered him after the fight; the ringside commentators mentioned it two or three times.
  • Brock Lesnar. That man is one blown knee away from a bouncing gig in Orange County.

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