Periscope Depth

nat turner with the sickle, pitchfork and machete

Could someone with more street cred than I explain the appeal of Lil’ Wayne? He has the most mediocre flow of any mainstream rapper I’ve heard in months, combined with the voice of the pimple-faced teenager from The Simpsons. Compress Lil’ John by 80% and hit him in the face with a plugged-in iron and you get Lil’ Wayne.

For instance, find below one of his “hot” new releases, “Lollipop.”[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIG1Vr0h_aE]No flow. No rhymes. Not even very good production values.

On the other end of the spectrum, why did nobody tell me about Immortal Technique? Damn. Mix the literate stylings of Mos Def with the raw attitude of Method Man and Immortal Technique comes pouring out. Listen to him name drop Zyklon-B, the Knights Templars and the star called “Wormwood” from the Book of Revelations in “The Point of No Return”:[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Igt-jW4e8ts]

Finally, I think I may have discovered the worst thing on YouTube.

So, as much as I love the Notorious B.I.G. and the gangsta style, his song “Gimme Da Loot” has always made me really uncomfortable. Listen to the lyrics and you hear a different Biggie than you might be used to: an insecure murderer hopped up on meth. Consider:

Man, listen all this walking is hurting my feet
But money, look! Sweet! (where?) In the Isuzu jeep!
Man, I throw him in the Beem, you grab the fucking cream
and if he start to scream – bam, bam – have a nice dream!
Hold up, he got a fucking bitch in the car
Fur coats and diamonds, she thinks she a superstar.
Ooh Biggie, let me jack her, I kick her in the back
Hit her with the gat / Yo chill, Shorty, let me do that

You really have to listen to it to get the sense of disgust in the “fur coats and diamonds” line. How dare she think she’s better than the streets! Look at her, dressing up and wearing nice things. Ha, ha. We’ll show her.

Anyhow, yeah, not my favorite.

As offensive as that song sounds, could it possibly get any worse? Yes. That song could get worse with two white boys in ski masks and Enyce jerseys lip syncing it:[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waBdx1mgUaA]That is how that song could get worse.

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