In the spirit of that original prankster’s holiday, April 1st, I will now do a minute by minute analysis of the most pranked video on the Internet – Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up. Click the link and follow along!
0:06: That weird dance move of his – shaking sunflower seeds in his hands while his elbows are stitched to his sides – never fails to confuse me.
0:13: It takes a man’s man’s man to rock the denim on denim.
0:22: Rick Astley looks like that ugly redheaded kid who ratted out Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society. You ever notice that?
0:43: “Okay, I’ll let you use the banquet hall for an hour, but we’ve got a wedding reception at three o’clock. Just get all the cameras out by then.”
0:56: See? Black people approve of his sound! He’s got the Soul Seal of Approval.
1:36: Are his backup dancers doing a choreographed routine? I can’t really tell.
1:56: Whoa, whoa, hold the phone – who’s this douche? I’m having a hard enough time following the plot as is.
2:08: If I could pull it off, I don’t think it technically qualifies as a dance move. Though I couldn’t get away with wearing those shorts.
2:15: I think this clapping silhouette we keep seeing is actually the Euro-blonde douche from earlier. Note that Astley’s not that broad in the shoulders.
2:32: Is this the same bridge where that first firefight took place in Ronin? Why couldn’t Robert deNiro and Jean Reno be firing guns right now?
2:43: Okay – so the blonde guy is a poor man’s Paula Abdul. Which, since Paula Abdul was a poor man’s Janet Jackson, says worlds about the quality of this video. Meanwhile, the black guy quietly invents parkour a decade early, but will receive no credit.
3:25: Despite the depth and maturity of his soulful voice, Rick Astley looks like he’s nine years old when he smiles. And I’m okay with that.